FABS’ GERMAN FIRE CONDOM FOR SALE AT SOTHEBY’S(London) — A used prophylactic set alight in November 1960 by Paul McCartney and Pete Best at the Bambi-Filmkunsttheater, a shabby German doss house provided by promoter Bruno Koschmider for the Beatles during their first Hamburg residency, is to be auctioned off by Sotheby’s in London this week. Though partly destroyed when the band’s rhythm section nailed the jitler sack to the wall of their decrepit converted cinema digs and burned it with matches, Sotheby’s experts estimate the value of the semen-encrusted dick-sock at between £9,000 and £12,000 ($14,000-$18,000).The Beatles had recently had their contract with the Indra and Kaiserkeller clubs cancelled by Koschmider when the German discovered they were moonlighting at a rival club. Depending on who’s telling the story, Best and McCartney burned the jizzy French Letter to either provide light and heat as they gathered their belongings to vacate the Bambi or as a protest at their band’s summary dismissal. However, the fiery scumbag left a burn mark on the wall and a piqued Koschmider responded by having the two Beatles arrested for arson and deported. DNA tests on the now hardened Fab spangle have proved inconclusive leading scientists to adjudge that the cum dumpster was used by more than one, and possibly all four Beatles, making the intermingled flaky baby gravy johnny that much more valuable.In 2003, a face-flannel used by fifteen year-old Ringo Starr to sop up the gooey remnants of the serial self-pollution he committed during a lengthy spell in hospital while being treated for pleurisy sold at auction for £3,272 ($5,138) on eBay.http://thriftyvinyl.wordpress.com/